Building Better Body Image
Women have been bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards for their entire lives, from magazines to social media to body shape and celebrity trends. It's no surprise that many women struggle with body image issues.
But this doesn’t mean you can’t work on your self image and the way you see your body to have a healthier relationship with your body, less judgement and criticism and more self acceptance.
The journey towards self-acceptance and having a more positive body image is not always easy, but it's an essential part of overall well-being.
I also had a very negative body image as a teenager and into my 20’s. I always thought I was too big, had too much body fat, and picked apart all the parts of my body I saw as flaws. This led to many diets and disordered eating behaviours that affected my hormonal cycle, extremist behaviours with supplements and fad diets.
Unfortunately this approcach didn’t make me healthier, it made me very unhealthy, but on the outside I may have looked like I was.
It took inner work to accept myself for who I was to actually change these behaviours and see long term change.
I want to share with you some perspectives that helped me to improve my relationship with myself and my body image. These concepts have also helped many of my clients build a more positive relationship with their body, no matter their size, shape or age.
Cultivate Self-Compassion:
Start by treating yourself with kindness and understanding. Become aware that everyone has imperfections and that it's okay not to meet society's unrealistic standards.
Especially with filters, photo editing, posing and even Artificial Intelligence images that are out there on the big social media platforms, it can feel like your body with all it’s curves and lines and creases that you see isn’t good enough compared to what you are seeing all the time.
Self-compassion involves being gentle with yourself during difficult times and neutralising harsh self-criticism. Take a moment when you are noticing yourself starting to pick yourself apart, and think would I say this to my friend, sister or daughter (real or imagined)?
Challenge Negative Thoughts:
Identify and challenge negative thoughts about your body. When you catch yourself thinking critically about yourself, and obsessing in the mirror about your shape. Ask yourself if these thoughts are in reality or if they are influenced by societal pressures.
Reframe extreme negative thoughts with a neutral statement can often be easier than trying to make an extreme positive statement. But sliding into a downward spiral of self criticism and dark thoughts and beliefs about your body is not going to help you move forwards. Instead of pinching at your stomach and putting on pants that are a size too tight, put on comfortable clothes and and focus on what your body does for you each day rather than how it looks.
You can reframe your thoughts to have a different perspective
Reframing examples:
Thought: I don’t fit into this dress, I’ve gained so much weight. I have to go on a diet now.
Reframe: This dress doesn’t fit my body, I will choose one that does and I feel confident and comfortable in
Thought: My cellulite is so bad, I can’t go to the beach everyone will see
Reframe: (Get into a spot with more flattering lighting, you are probably standing under very harsh down lighting in a bathroom or changing room!). I will still go today and have fun, and instead of fixating on whether my cellulite is visible, I will enjoy the experience and being in the moment at the beach. If I feel uncomfortable I can wear a sarong.
Thought: I hate that my thighs are so big and I don’t have a gap between them.
Reframe: My thighs are strong and squat weights at the gym for me, get my up stairs and help me get from A to B.
Practice Getting out of your Head and into your Body with Mindfullness:
Engage in mindfulness practices to connect with your body in a present way.
Mindful activities such as yoga, meditation, or simply paying attention to your breath and moving your body rhythmically can help you appreciate your body's abilities and promote a sense of gratitude for what it does for you every day.
If you are stuck in fight or flight mode, your brain is often on overanalysis mode looking for threat, and this can also mean being more self critical.
Be aware of where you are at in your Menstrual Cycle:
Our hormones play a huge role in our thoughts. Towards the end of the menstrual cycle, called the luteal phase, not only do we tend to get a dip in hormones so we feel more down, anxious and self critical this is also when we tend to feel more bloated, fluid retention (holding water) and get PMS symptoms.
This can be a storm, unless you are aware and remind yourself that you may feel this way for a few days, but after your menstrual cycle finishes there is usually a big surge of hormones back into a more optimistic state.
Tracking your cycle to correlate how you feel with what may be happening in your body can give you more understanding.
Surround Yourself with Non-Judgement:
Take a review of the influences in your life, including social media, and aim to surround yourself with a positive and uplifting environment.
Unfollow accounts that promote unrealistic beauty standards and surround yourself with uplifting content that celebrates being individual.
Choose friends and relationships that support and encourage your journey towards body positivity. Don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Talking about your feelings and experiences can be a powerful step toward healing and building a more positive body image.
Celebrate Achievements, Not Just Appearance:
Shift the focus from appearance-based achievements to those related to personal growth, skills, and accomplishments. Celebrate your efforts, not just the outcomes as well.
Celebrate your successes at work, in relationships, or in personal development. This reinforces the idea that your worth extends beyond physical appearance.
Nourish Your Body:
Fuel your body with nutritious food and engage in physical activities that you enjoy. Adopting a healthy lifestyle can contribute to a positive body image by emphasizing the importance of taking care of your body for overall well-being rather than for conforming to beauty ideals.
Improving your body image is a journey that requires time, patience, and self-reflection.
Embracing body positivity is not about achieving perfection but about accepting and appreciating the person that you are inside, you are more than just a body.