Do you have "I'll be happy when" syndrome?

How many times have you said to yourself, “Oh I can’t wait until I have ____, then I will be so happy”.

We are bombarded every day from advertising, media and social pressures with the belief that we need to have, be or do something else such as next achievement, career, relationship or body shape to feel fulfilled.

Unfortunately, focusing on what we do not have can cause us to feel frustrated and self-critical. This ironically pushes us further from our goals due to self sabotage and seeing goals as too far away or hard to achieve, thinking “what’s the use”.

Setting goals is an important aspect of a fulfilled life, and experiencing what life has to offer, however attaining the thing that you want will not be the source of your happiness. As soon as you achieve what you once thought was “WHEN” it will then be “NOW” and you will always move the yardstick further away to fulfil your belief.

You will never be good enough with this belief.

The power is in flipping the belief from “I will be happy WHEN I achieve my goal”, to instead “I am happy WHILE I am achieving my goal”.

Making this switch is life changing, but is easier said than done!

If you have patterned your brain to always long for what you do not yet have, it can be a challenge!

Here are ways to find happiness in the NOW:

Gratitude

There is ALWAYS something in your life to be grateful for, and this perspective shift has a powerful effect on your mindset. In a state of gratitude, you have enough and you are enough.

Gratitude can be what you have, your relationships, and even your challenges, for they are lessons!

Acknowledge your Progress
Rather than only looking how far you have to go, take note of how far you have come. Your progress counts, the habits you put in, the little improvements you make, even some setbacks are lessons that are teaching you new things. Reflect and acknowledge your progress. Then you can be happy, proud, content and fulfilled WHILE moving towards and attaining your goals, not WHEN you achieve them.

When someone gifts you a compliment, accept it with a thank you! I know I have been guilty of this in the past, even in small ways, like someone giving a compliment, brushing it off as, “oh I still have more to go”.

The thing is, there is always more to go, life is always going to have goals, challenges, ups, and downs, there is no point where you are considered done. Denying yourself happiness until you get/achieve/lose something is denying yourself from life.

Don’t use the word “BUT”. But discounts anything that was said before it. If you state what you have done, what you are and then say BUT, you are not appreciating the present.

Remain Present

Become present, focus on the world around you rather than your thoughts in your head. Remind yourself to bring yourself back to the present in conversations, at work, doing activities or hobbies or eating. Paying attention to how disconnected you are from the NOW you realise that “WHEN” is a fantasy. NOW is where you feel, see, hear and experience!

Don’t discount your feelings
Although this article is all about finding happiness in the now, this doesn’t mean that all the other emotions are not valid. Being able to be aware of your emotions and able to express them is a healthy part of the journey. Learn to differentiate between when you are feeling a certain way and need to express it or if you are choosing to place a filter over the world around you.

Check your Attitude
Happiness is not an effect of what you have, happiness is the cause of what you attract! The attitude you choose to perceive your world with is a choice. Like attracts like. The more you choose to see in the now, the easier you will attract more of the same. Choose to see the world with optimism, looking for opportunity, rather than pessimism which is looking for roadblocks.

Make the choice today to be your own source of happiness. If not now, then when?