What Your Emotions are Trying to Say

What your Emotions are trying to tell you!

Emotions can be confusing.

I used to think that my emotions ruled my world. That if I wasn’t “feeling” it today, that I wouldn’t do my exercise or eat well, or if I was extremely motivated, I would commit to hundreds of different things that I couldn’t actually handle!

But guess where this got me?

I would justify self sabotaging behaviours that weren’t serving me, and and end up going around in circles.

My emotions then became more heightened as I began to feel shame, guilt and defeat and the spiral continued.

What finally got me moving forward with my emotions was journaling so I could become aware of what they were trying to tell me. Not just ignoring them or dwelling in them.

So today is about recognising our emotions for what they are. Emotions are feedback to how we feel relative to a situation.

First of all, it is important to be in a good state.

Causes of turbulent emotions can be:

Unmet needs

When one of your needs that you want in life (like safety, connection, appreciation, freedom, love, relaxation, empathy) isn’t (or perceivably isn’t) being met, you can experience a turbulent emotion. Your emotions will be more dramatic when you are in a state of scarcity or lack. Often people blame external sources for not meeting their needs, when it is important to look after your needs first and you are more likely to find them in your life. When experiencing an emotion that you feel is coming from a need not being met, think of how you can integrate that into your own life with self care.

Judgements/Assumptions

Our minds automatically create meaning in every situation. You can experience negative emotions if your mind sees something, or thinks something and create a negative judgement of a situation. Assuming meaning from the world around you can be dangerous as we only see a snippet of reality when we are judging. Be aware of the meanings you place in situations. It is better to go through life by holding minimal judgement for other people and yourself. Look to seek for more information before you judge something, or accept it the way it is.

Expectations/Standards

We can experience feelings such as guilt, shame, disappointment or anger when we or others do not meet a perceived expectation. It is important to hold standards for yourself but if you set unrealistically high standards that are never met, it is hard to grow or see progress. It is better to set standards for yourself that need to be met for you to be fulfilled, then challenge yourself with slightly higher standards in areas to grow. As you become accustomed to a new benchmark, you can raise your bar again. Exactly like lifting in the gym, you wouldn’t start squatting a 50kg barbell, but that is achievable over time by slowly increasing the standard as you grow.

Beliefs and Stories

If we have formed a belief about the world around you, you create stories about things you see, because this is your current beliefs about reality. This can however keep you in your current reality, and make you feel “triggered” (angry, scared, or withdrawn) if something contrasts with your belief. These triggers are your biggest way to growth if they are towards what you want in your life, which can change your beliefs and stories. If something has “triggered” you today, what stories could that be contrasting with?

Emotional Associations and Wounds

When we have experienced painful emotions in the past, we can associate them with situations that they occured in or anything similar. For example, if you have been rejected it can stir up painful emotions when you are in a situation where you perceive you are turned down or can cause you to fear putting yourself out there. Unfortunately this means you cannot grow through this or try again.

Again all of these situations, emotions arise to keep us safe. Go towards what feels good and safe, and away from what causes pain.

We must take ownership over ourselves, we cannot always choose what happens to us but we can choose how we react.

👉👉Todays task: Start incorporating these questions into your journalling to gain more emotional intelligence.

❓What could have caused this emotion?

❓What is this emotion trying to tell me?

❓Does this emotion serve me towards where I want to go?

❓How does this emotion serve me?

❓What can I do about this?

✅What this is:

Listening to your emotions, unveiling a situation that is causing the feeling and noting down why this may be affecting you. If it serves you towards where you want to go, great. If it is blocking your progress, let it go.

❌What this isn’t:

Identifying with your emotions and dwelling in them. When you “become” an emotion, you have lost sight of your path. This is difficult because emotions can be big and overwhelming. Take 10 deep breaths and listen to what they are trying to say, and where the root cause may be, and what you can do about it. If you cannot do anything about it, it is much better to let it go.